You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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