I'm eating all of the evidence.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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