The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
