god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
