Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
