i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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