how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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