it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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