well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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