Who wears a wallet chain?!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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