It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
