So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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