I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
