Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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