After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
