Don't make out with my wife yet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
