I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
