I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
