ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
