I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
