i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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