in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
