Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
