then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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