considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
