You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
