I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize