Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
