I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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