I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
