You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
