She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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