I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
