the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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