I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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