I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
