honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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