so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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