Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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