If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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