i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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