How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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