The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
