Only a mothe r could love this liver
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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