I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
