if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
