on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
