if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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