Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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