Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You're like the curious george of whores
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Use "feeling words"
Yay
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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